Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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