PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
