Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
