i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
My vagina is officially offended.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
