So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
