normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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