She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
