and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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