maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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