So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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