then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
