I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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