man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize