you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
