My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
