mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
