I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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