Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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