But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
