You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
