I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
