absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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