Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
