winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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