do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
This is the high leading the old right now
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize