Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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