I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
pray to the hookup gods
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Shame is for Republicans.
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