Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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