I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
