I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize