When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
