I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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