you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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