no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
