I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Randomize
