You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
