i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
