just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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