Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
