Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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