420 ftw
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
