what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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