WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
