Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
