This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
