I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
