I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
