Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
