You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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