so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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