guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
