nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
