Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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