I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
