Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
