There is no way he is gay with that hair.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
