I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
