i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
