Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
