lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i need some magic done to my vagina
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