Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
vagina is talking i cant
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize