Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
